If you want to steal my template I will hunt you down with karma.






blt2333





Name: Barb
Location: Buenos Aires
Contact: blt2333 at yahoo.
Play Music:


.SSR's artists,-Stanton Street Records.
.Let's do it again- Julia Darling.
.Photographs, - Julia Darling.
.'The Island', 'So Says the Whipporwill'. - Richard Shindell.
.Canción Sencilla, Lyric, - Richard Shindell.
.I think it's gonna rain today,- Norah Jones. From npr.org.


Sum ups of my past months



The cruel reality..

cause I always sit next to someone breast feeding or eating a hot dog.

POST FROM Saturday, January 29, 2005

Aging

I am 276 months old. Or 8395 days old. Or just old. Yesterday was an usual birthday, if you consider usual what I consider usual. Not celebrating because you don't feel like celebrating at all.
I guess I have already described how much I didn't like my birthdays through out my life, main cause due to the fact that people I care about from all a sudden decide they are offended by something or they get on a fight with each other or they just try to make me do things I just never want to do in my life.

What happens before my birthday is something I like to call the ball, the ball starts rolling days before the 28th, like a snowflake that starts rolling from the top of a mountain and all the snow keeps making it bigger and bigger as it falls down, till the point where you can hear it coming. You are at the bottom of the mountain and you feel something is approaching but you can't see it. You wonder, Could it be just my imagination this year?

Hardly never those instincts are wrong of course. The big mass of snow ends up eating you alive, year after year.

Of course I will not deny the possibility of one birthday not being that horrible. Like this year's see. I mean it was flat yes, however I don't hate flat as much as I hate the feeling of running far away to a land where I can start breathing again.

If I had to share the truth to you, I'll have to say that I love to turn older. I just dislike the whole stipulated proceedings our society imposes upon us. Cake, presents, greetings, and all of those things we need to do in order to demonstrate how much we care about someone. I say fuck all that, you show me how much you care on a daily day basis, I don't need no more, more is too much.

So yesterday I understood where I got my feelings from. The feelings of enough. Not the ball, the ball is a patent of mine.
I learnt that my grandma had never celebrated a birthday as a child. That she didn't want to celebrate birthdays because she hadn't been exposed to this particularly part of the culture by her parents and so she didn't feel the need. Maybe you think that is sad, but she doesn't, everytime I visit her on her birthday she is like "oh okay I'll play this game". Like if we were retarded or something.
So now, I know, that the Grinch in me is not alone in the world. Lot's of people feel this way. I ain't no alien, I'm just old.

posted by Barbara 10:05 AM

||





8/13/05 - It's probably not a great idea not to go to your medical appoitment when you get the best job they could have probably offered you, just because you want to mantein that perfect record of never taking a blood test.

Site Meter All rights reserved by Blt2333
Better Screen Resolution Under 1280x1024